chuckpalahnuikisgod

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: 'Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. '

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fuckin think so.

I don't know if anyone else has seen it yet (though I'm sure some have), but today Anita, Mom, and I saw it, and it was fucking awesome. I hav to say that my favorite parts were all the Alaska bits, because everytime that they they mentioned Alaska, or anything Alaska, especially the bit with homer announcing their move to Alaska, the whole crowd would cheer. Just the joke "Here's a thousand dollars so we could ruin the enviorment!" that is so true. Onc a year, every October, the government gives all Alaska residents (who have been living their for a year) eight-hundred to a thousand dollars, what they call 'dividend'. It's awesome. :) Of course, the majority of all the dividend I get go to something, like from age eleven to twelve, it went to my braces, thirteen it went to the plane ticket to Las Vegas (to visit), and this time, it's probably going to go to the ticket for when we move to Las Vegas. The first check I got when I was ten (we moved here when I was nine), went to Mom buying a car, but I got a hundred bucks out of it. Though, I was confused about why they had totem poles and throat singing at the same time for. Totem poles are are from southern Alaska and throat singing is from the north, and what time of year it was. I'm gonna take a guess and say spring. I don't know.

Someone on this website who lives nowhere near Alaska should just take up studying Alaska. And then mock it. And then I shall laugh because, errr, I hate Alaska. I can't wait to move back to civilisation. It's hot and they're are mosquitoes in the summer, and it's like -30 in the winter, and there are always drunks and potheads  and drug addicts and pedophiles and perverts everywhere, and everyone is either really rick or really poor, and it sucks. >< I hate Alaska. Grrrr, and I love to rant about how much I hate Alaska. WATCH ME RANT!!! RAWR RAWR RAWR!!! ... I'm done now.

This is short and might seem kind of stupid, but I found this absolutely hilarious.

My Gramma, my Mom, and I where watching Sweet Sixteen when my Gramma blurted out:

"Jesus, she's a bitch."

XD Random, BUT IT HAPPENED.

Howdy eveyone. I know, I haven't been on buzznet in AGES, so please, please, forgive me. I still haven't even checked through my messages or comments or anything. Right now, I'm at my aunt's house, and she has high-speed internet, while I have dial-up, so it's very frustrating  to update my buzznet from home, so blah. It's kind of frustrating from here too though, because the computer I'm on is missing the t, r, y, and f keys. There's an on-screen keyboard, but it's still pretty annoying. I'M MOVING TO LAS VEGAS. Or really back to Vegas, but whatever. It's probably going to be sometime in December or January, and my aunt and cousin are planning on leaving in about two weeks. My Gramma even took a one way ticket here by plane so she could help them pack. See, here's my Gramma, Corey, and an me, old pic taken about two years ago:

That was back when I had braces. There, you can seen how curly my hair is. Damn Corey, with his straight hair. >< Anyway, I am almost fourteen! 26 June, 1993. So soon, instead of a thirteen-year-old fangirl you worship, I'll be a fourteen-year-old fangirl you worship! Yay for me! Anyways, I've got about fifty messages I gotta read, so this shall be the closing sentence, YAAAAAY! Hopefully, I won't disappear from buzznet completely.

My god, if I never hated the Carebears before, I fucking hate them now. What sick bastard made that bullshit? If there is a hell, it is most likely filled with the motherfucking Carebears. Confused? I'll explain:

I babysit for my friend Kelly who has three daughters, Sarah, 8, Amanda, 4, and Erika, 5 months (though she looks 12 months). Tonight, Kelly picked me up around 7ish. She and her husband, Kenny (no, they aren't Barbie dolls and it's not incest (I don't even thing Kelly and Ken are related. I guess a lot of people think that Kelly is Ken and Barbie's daughter, but actually, just like Skipper, Kelly is Barbie's little sister. So even if they were the Barbie dolls,  it would only be pedophilia, not incest)) were going out with Kenny's mother for dinner at The Cookie Jar (where my aunt's psycho ex works) and then go out for midnight bowling down at the Arctic Bowl. At first, I just switched around trying to get Amanda to eat (for she is underweight and weights just a bit more than the baby who weighs 22 pounds), feeding Erika, playing video games with Sarah and try not to lose my sanity because I couldn't exactly hold up a bottle, eat pizza as well as Amanda because she obviously wouldn't do it by herself, and play Sonic. Then we watched Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, where I made another bottle for Erika and kept muttering about how Dennis Leary sold his fucking soul while Amanda and Sarah laid down and watched the horrid movie in peace. Next, Sarah went to bed, I tried to put Erika in her crib, but when I moved her she woke up (which happened everytime I tried to put her in her crib when she fell asleep) and Amanda started begging about the Carebears. "Please Tuesdae, I wanna watch Carebears." Of course, I can't resist cute little Amanda and her cute little pout, besides, I was curios, what was all the hubbub about these bears with rainbows and crap all over their tummies? I wanted to rip my hair out. I still have the song about how Feelings Forest, Care-a-lot and Earth are kind of different and kind of the same, because EVERYONE LOVES! EVERYONE CARES! Jeezus Christ, and fucking "CARE STARE!!!"?!?!?! YOU DON'T STARE WITH YOUR FUCKING EYES CLOSED AND YOUR CHEST OUT!!! YOU STARE WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN LOOKING THROUGH SOMEONE'S WINDOW WITH YOUR HAND DOWN YOUR PANTS!!! God, what a fucking piece of shit that movie was. Kelly and Kenny were almost an hour late, so I had to watch the whole damn movie. God, that was not with 34 dollars. Forty at the least. Christ, I hope I don't have to watch that crap again, because, so help me god, I will hang myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit overdramatic, BUT STILL!!! Whatever happened to the Rugrats? When I was Amanda's age, that certainly was my chose of cartoons. I still like the Rugrats, but that "All Grown-Up" shit. I like the original, all the way. Hell, I could watch Seseme Street for hours upon hours, but please, no more Carebears, PLEAAAASE!! ... I bet that if I was on drugs, I might have enjoyed the Carebears, but never sober EVER. I heard the Beatles' Yellow Submarine is better stoned. I like it fine without drugs though. I mean, come on, it's the Beatles! How can you not like them? But the fucking Carebears...

Sorry for everyone who likes the Carebears, but I needed to rant about it. BAD.

Right now I'm just typing up some assignments from my fifth and sixth period classes (my class schedual is on my profile on LJ) and I just started thinking, if Pluto is now a dwarf planet, what does that make Scorpio? So I started to diguss this with my mother and I mentioned how my cousin Corey is a Scorpio. So I'm just like, "Heh, he's a dwarf now." Then my mother says, "Pretty tall for a dwarf.
 Then I just start thinking how he just must be a dwarf in "places" and this makes me laugh. I'm posting for no reason of course, just for the one where I find it hilarious that my cousin has tiny "parts." Heheh. Just needed to share that bit of info that I'm sure no one wanted to know.

I am a very funny person. I know how pretensious that sounds, but hey, I've been told it many of times, so I'm just coming out with it. Anyways, the other day, I over hear this girl I barely know using my material. And people calling her hilarious or what ever synonym they used, but this girl was stealing my material and claiming it as her own. I know I'm probably over reacting, but I still think that's fucked up like incest. I know what you're probably thinking, either, "Why am I reading this bullshit?" or "C'mon Tuesdae, lighten up. Mockery is the truest form of flattery, you know." And I know that this is bullshit, and I know I should lighten up, and I know that they say that mockery is the truest form of flattery, but I still didn't like overhearing that. I think it's fucked up to steal what other's have spent so much time in making and saying that you made it up. I think it's a terrible thing to do. With me and my friends, when we make up jokes and stories together, we claim it as a whole group joke (minus Mack because she's annoying and no one likes her, as bitchy as it sounds) and never claim it as our own because it's just an unwritten rule in the group. Never claim claim anything as your own if you didn't make it up all by yourself, because then you're just a pathetic little prick. Pathetic like the girls who would go around telling people that they had a miscarriage for sympathy. Pathetic like people who feel the need to pick on people who are different because they feel so empty inside. Pathetic like how your mom takes sympathy upon the girl who makes your life living hell, just because said girl was stabbed by her step father, and said mother was too abused by her step father, therefore making your life even more hellish because your mom is showing sympathy for the girl who ruins your life on a daily baisis. Pathetic like Maurina Weeks, because dispite how pretty she is now, she just doesn't understand anything. God, Maurina is a flake. Off topic, but still so very true. Anyways, um... do not plagiarise, because then, you're just a fucking pussy who is so pathetic that you can't even think of your own material.

I decided to label myself:

Passive-aggressive, voyeuristic, pessimistic hypocrit.

Of course, I have a reason for that label.

Passive-aggressive. I don't stand up for myself very often, and instead break things.

Voyeuristic: I admit it, I voyeur... quite often when you think about it. Because the way I see it, fanfiction, all that stuff, it sort of voyeuring.

Pessimistic: I don't exactly look on the bright side of life. Life as horribly long, people are evil and children are parasites.

Hypocrit: Everyone is a hypocrit in their own special way. Brendon Urie rants about how he's not gay, they he goes over and tells Ryan to suck his dick and gropes him all over. My mother tells me not to cuss, but she curses like a drunken sailor. Me, I view humans as vile things that roam the Earth, bent on destroying each other, and I am one.

And I decided that here is where I'm going to put my prejudices, because I know that everyone has one, and you know it.

Religious people: They creep me out and they're all trying to convert you.

Stick figure girls: Now-a-days, not every single girl can naturally be that skinny, yet everyone seems to be. It's sad, really.

Aaaannnnndddd Hip-Hop people: They just piss me off.

Howdy. This is morrisseyislove @ LJ, if you didn't know. I finally decided to get a buzznet account! Aren't you happy? You should be. I, like, totally kick ass. Yeah. I really don't know what to post on this thing. I was never really big with diaries and journals and such. So I'll just let you all get to know me better with a few of these...

The 20 men I would loose my virginity to: (unordered)

Matt Good,

Ryan Ross,

Brendon Urie,

Vincent Kartheiser,

Derek Bloom,

Morrissey,

Frank Iero,

Mikey Way,

Alexis Denisof,

William Beckett,

Joe Trohman,

Peter Wentz,

John Nolan,

Connor Oberst,

Julian Casablancas,

Craig Nicholls,

Sebastien Lefebvre,

David Desrosiers,

Billie Joe Armstrong &

Billy Martin.

Whose God and why:

Chuck Palahnuik: He is a god because he is an amazing author. I love all his books (or at least the ones I can get my hands on) and he is definately a god in my eyes.

Morrissey: He is one of the best music artists in all of history. (Almost) all of the music that he has made is amazing, and I would absolutely say he is a god.

Joss Whedon: The man is a genius, seriously. He can mix sorrow, and horror, and comedy, and drama, and romance so perfectly. He makes me laugh and cry and I love all of his work.

My heroes (no matter how cliche it is):

(See list of gods)

Amber Titchenal: A good friend of mine, in real life and on the net, she is wonderful artist. I can't help it, I envy her talent.

Ryan Ross: He is a wonderful lyricist and guitarist. Plus he's wicked cool. He belongs on everyone's hero list.

I'm getting kicked off the net. I shall post more! ... eventually. Don't expect anything too soon, if any IS reading this. =/